Thong Injury and the Medal of Freedom

American whiplash… that’s what I get every day at the gym.  There are four tv screens above my head, all muted, closed-captioning running rampant, and four different stories competing for attention.  That’s in addition to the sweating or struggling exercising compatriots around me.  And in addition to the cacophony in my own brain, no doubt abetted by my habit of listening to something like the Allman Brothers on my iPod while I read theology (slashing at the most salient points with my Bic medium point blue pen), all the while trying to monitor my heart rate to be sure it stays above 70% of my maximum much of the time so that it is worth the effort to drag myself over to the gym.   All of this when I am commanded to “Be still and know that I am God.”

And this morning I was musing (when I looked up from Paul Zahl’s wonderful book Grace in Practice: A Theology of Everyday Life), on how the women feel who need the female baldness creams being advertised, and what will happen next for Tiger Woods who has gone from glory to limping this week.  I saw that the two middle screens were trumpeting contrasting stories… Ben Carson getting the Medal of Freedom and a lawsuit involving a corneal injury from a metal adornment coming loose from a thong (and flying eye-ward) as a woman tried to put it on last year.  Thankfully, we are told, she can still drive and work, but thong-wearers should beware. 

Reminds me of a dear friend who started his law career defending a chain steakhouse against a client who was suing them because their Texas Toast was hot enough to burn his mouth.  Imagine!

America the litigious.  America the frivolous.  America the whiplash-inducing.  Yet, America the beautiful.

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~ by Cary on June 19, 2008.

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