Cremation for Profit

This is a true story.  Sadly, a friend of ours was dying, as in actually dying within a few days of the particular day I am writing about.  And the funeral home man came by to work out the final details with his wife.  And she was downstairs working out the plans for cremation (in a hush-hush tone) when she heard her husband calling out from the bedroom upstairs, his voice failing, trying to eke out a few words that could be heard from downstairs. And he (ever the man of the house) called out, “Put my cremation on the VISA card; you’ll be able to use the miles!”  And so she did.

So at this time of year, as we are encouraged to think of all the creative ways we can give gifts, drum up money we forgot about and generally stretch a dollar, I’m thinking of my friend and the cremation points and I’m wondering if I should give sets of golf clubs to everyone on my list, since that is something that my AMEX mileage plan offers for my points.  Never mind that I only have one golf-playing family member.  Or perhaps everyone would like a gift subscription to GQ or Redbook.  

Hmmm… its sort of fun to have to be creative about gift-giving.  And I’m still deliriously happy about my thrift store finds yesterday — a $3 hat and a bunch of Christmas plates for .49 each, on which to deliver the aforementioned Christmas cookie poison to those lucky recipients.  Let me go think creatively… except my mind is a bit confused from eating so much rum-ball dough (think rum with vanilla wafer crumbs in it).

Uncertain times call for uncertain measures.


~ by Cary on December 13, 2008.

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