Tyra, I Disagree

Nobody looked proud or jubilant to be wearing the “Just Divorced” banners on Tyra’s show today.  Row after row of young women wore this beauty pageant-like proclamations of recent liberation.  And they didn’t look jubilant.

Divorce is a tough topic.  Especially for a married person.  Many people I love are divorced.  And the reasons why it happens are numerous and none of ’em happy.  Nobody sets out to divorce.  It’s not a casual thing, even a society that allows somewhat casual dissolution of marriage.  In that the casual dissolution comes after the heartache and the smashed longings and the disappointment and the slow or speedy death of a dream.

Yet Tyra’s guest today advocated having a party to celebrate the divorce, putting it in the category of other milestones we celebrate like engagements and babies on the way.  I just don’t think it’s something to celebrate even under the best of divorce circumstances (mutual, friendly, “just didn’t work out”).

And one poor young man (18 or so) was asked how he felt about his mother’s makeover from dowdy to the ubiquitous “hot” so that she can now enter the dating scene.  How is he supposed to feel?  What a set-up.

Yes, ashes can be turned to beauty.  God can “redeem the years the locusts have eaten.”  But celebrating divorce itself… no.  I disagree.  Recovering from divorce will come after facing the reality of the death of the marriage, and grieving.  And not before.

And the audience members looked like they might agree with me, sitting there wearing banners and seeming a bit sad, even as they sipped their celebratory champagne and considered the plethora of suggested options for their divorce parties.

Not everything is party fodder.

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~ by Cary on February 5, 2010.

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