Mediated or Mindful?

One of the things I think about the most is communicating.  I have a friend who often says that she doesn’t feel like something has really happened until she tells her husband (or sometimes me, I think, if he’s not free).  And I think I’m that way in terms of having thought, since I was a child, “This will be fun to write about” or “This is an illustration of something I’ll want to communicate.”

Once I went to speak to a wise friend, who is also a priest.  I was talking to him about “calling”  (Yes, the “I’ve talked it to death” subject of calling).  And I said, “You know how people write down ideas all the time of things to think about, write about, speak about?”  And he looked at me with a blank stare and then said, “Wellllll…that would be specific to YOU, to YOUR calling.”  And I had a lightbulb moment, realizing that he was right and that that was a clue to how I am wired.

Like when my son had a professor tell him that he should probably pay attention to the fact that he really gets excited by textiles as he studies art history or history.  Which propelled him to sewing and who knows what next.  He’s soaring.

So for me, when I have an experience it is happening on two levels — the here and now and the “how will I communicate this?”  I’m just going to accept that, make peace with it, and quit berating myself to “Just be in the moment.”  This is the moment.  The moment, for me, includes a near-constant practice of observing, cataloguing, synthesizing, creating metaphors, seeing visual illustrations, hearing verbal ones, wondering how to communicate it all and then a burning desire to do just that.

I wrote about the role of culture in devotional practice, and that article describes, as best as I can do it, the tension that I feel between taking in mediated experiences and then mediating them for others vs. simply being in the moment for no other reason (and with no other interpretation) than whatever IS.

So I guess that I’m living out, as I travel cross country, mostly solo, the tension between being and communicating.  For me, I’d say, they are inextricably and happily linked, and I most fully enjoy and engage in things when I don’t attempt to divorce the communication of the experience from the doing.

 

Seeing through someone else's eyes... communicating, mediating.

 

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~ by Cary on October 11, 2010.

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